Only 363 Days Until Birthday #4

That headline is what we call accurate and trivial! Yes, Drivel Days is sadly over. During our cleanup from the party we found a few jackets that people left around the site, so if you forgot yours, come back and get it! Anyway, here's to another great year of Syndicatedom!

HAPPY BIRTHDAY REALITY SYNDICATE!!!

What a day it is! The Reality Syndicate is now OFFICIALLY THREE YEARS OLD!!! Hooray for excessive use of exclamation points! Now, today is a birthday shared by plenty of great people/websites. Here's a list of actual birthdays for February 25th!

• The Reality Syndicate!
• George Harrison, the greatest Beatle of all time!
• John Foster Dulles (a pretty darn good Secretary of State)!
• Roger Clark, greatest papa of all time!
• Millicent Fenwick (we're not sure who that is, exactly)!

Bon Voyage!

Are you ready to TRAVEL?!? I hope so! Today marks the first day of a brand new section of the Syndicate Press, Let's Go Travel! In Let's Go Travel!, the Syndicate staff packs up and heads out, visiting a locale that could have only been chosen with aid of a map on a dart board. In the first installment, the staff takes off for the far east, the land of the rising sun, the empire of Ancient Arkansas! Join them as they take in the sights, sounds, and smells of this distant getaway in Let's Go Travel - Ancient Arkansas!

Swell New Title Bar

Hey, check out the title bar for this page. It's new and 27% more groovy than the previous one! Just another little tune up for the site. Keep your eyes open for such little improvements all over the place!

Fiber Mass Production

In our look back in the Guest Columns today, we visit the Syndicate's most famous bald, frightening scientist. Yes, Dr. S is back in the spotlight with an article depicting what many believe to be his greatest invention ever! Consider this... You have an empty cereal bowl before you. You have no cereal to put in it. You have to leave for work in ten minutes and you're a little irregular. What on Earth do you do? Well, thanks to the good doctor's pioneering advances in science, you need worry no longer! Read all about this modern marvel in The Bran-Ray!

Drivel Days Interferes With Air Force Procedures

It turns out that late last night, the speed and fervor demonstrated by an out of control Drivel Days resulted in more than a blip on Air Force radar systems. Bringing networks of detection arrays to their knees, Drivel Days neared the speed of light as it got riled up for the Syndicate's third birthday, happening TOMORROW!

Who Want Seconds on Boson Pie?

Food trends change like the tides, though are rather unpredictable. One of our resident Guest Columnists, however, may have discovered the inevitable course of food throughout his history in food expertise. Mr. Fred, our favorite walking corpse, believes that as the years turn into decades and the decades into centuries, all food will become based on elementary particles, or Atoms. No, you don't have to be a rocket scientist to figure it out, but don't miss Particles for the Palate!

Planet Huggers Speak Out

Earth Day became a national holiday in the United States on April 22, 1970. Since the cause driven protest professionals got their way that day, they moved on to other things. Many turned their attention to our neighbor, lonely little Mars. Well, in today's look back in the Syndicate Press, writer Chris Clark looks at this growing trend of activists picketing for Mars Day. Holding rallies at the foot of Olympus Mons, sending petitions covered in red dust to Washington, that's just the beginning of what people are doing. Read all about it in A Day For Mother Mars.

Drivel Days Scoffs at Speeding Ticket

Yes, early today Drivel Days was cited a ticket for traveling well over the speed limit in a residential area. The patrolman on duty was a little shocked issuing a ticket to an event rather than a human being, but he didn't let that get in the way of his work. Drivel Days however, simply chuckled and continued to whiz by when nobody was looking. Whether or not Drivel Days will pay the fine is yet to be known.

Halloween is Only Eight-Plus Months Away!

Regardless of the vast chunk of time between now and Halloween, plenty of people around the world are preparing. Just as Christmas preparations begin eleven months in advance, Halloween usually begins to show up around this time of year. This year however, something's gone foul. It would seem that the pumpkins have had enough of being carved and are beginning to fight back. In today's newest Syndicate Press article by our newest writer Verbina, take a look at just how fierce these veggies can be. If you plan on living to October, don't miss When Pumpkins Go Bad!

One Large Carbon Pizza to Go, Please.

There's a tend appearing in foods and flavors these days that can only be described in one word: basic! Yes, plenty of manufacturers of tasty snacks are using more elements of food, rather than actual food, to flavor new products (such as cookie dough ice cream). In the underworld, ice cream giant Horrid Choice is already debuting "Flourberry" ice cream, along with several other elemental flavors. Now, who better to investigate this trend than Mr. Fred? Yes! In today's look back in the Guest Columns, Mr. Fred peeks into this odd fad and even provides a new basic food recipe. Check it out in Back to the Basic Ingredients!

Drivel Days Breaks Sound Barrier

"And you're next, light barrier." If Drivel Days was an ambitious youngster with speech capabilities, that's what he'd say. Yes, Drivel Days just charges on, so take a look at today's new things!

Here's Something for the Pain and Glowing

That thought bubble is a graphical representation of genius being mentally vomited into the surrounding atmosphere, so cover your noses! Yes, the good doctor is back with his latest Guest Column. As he probes this time, Dr. Floyd H. Shkletzinheimer presents a new branch of biomedical technology to help in the quick recovery and pain relief of patients suffering from glowing redness and harsh lightning bolts. If you've never experienced such pain, you've at least seen commercials portraying such people. That makes you more than interested to read Pioneering Medical Techniques.

How Computer Games Rot the Brain

Sandwiches. Tasty, practical, and available in a variety of shapes. But could one shape of sandwich be more effective/delicious/attractive than another? Yes, the question may be stupid, but the pursuit of its answer is noble and quite interesting. In our look back in the Syndicate Press today we take a look at the debut article of beloved Syndicate writer Sea Dreamer! She's smart, witty, and on the other side of the Atlantic. Since she's English, that means you're simply obligated to read Science Proves Triangles Tastier than Squares!

Who's Afraid of Drivel Days?

Sorry, that headline has no particular relevance. See, I just saw The Hours tonight, and one of the lead characters in that bizarre film was Virginia Woolf. That made me think of the old book Who's Afraid of Virginia Woolf, and then I started writing this, and well... forget it. Just take a look at today's stuff.

Pretzel Time

Just how flexible is the human body? Can one touch his ear to his elbow, his chin to his spine, his trachea to his pancreas? Well, with the assistance of Yoga, average Joe Human can get closer than ever. Through a combination of stringent self discipline and a few organic placebo supplements, the human brain turns the human body into a human taffy pull! I know you're excited, so check out today's newest Syndicate Press article by Chris Clark, Discovering Yoga!

How Computer Games Rot the Brain

Computer games serve as a massive source of entertainment to consumers world wide. They provide hours of fun for the player, millions of dollars for the industry, and tons of popularity for violence in general. Games are diverse, however, and that constitutes a system for distinction! Hence, we have game ratings. In today's look back in the Guest Columns, Syndicate reporter Charles Anderson takes a look at these ratings and presents them in an easy to understand guide. If you're planning on buying a video game and wish to get one that panders to your exact personality traits, don't miss Rate This!

Drivel Days Ignores Warning to Stop

No, we didn't really warn Drivel Days to stop. It's just a fancy way of saying that Drivel Days is still going strong! Take a look at some of today's featured stuff...

Armageddon Has a Funny Accent

As if the Syndicate staff wasn't overpopulated with bizarre non-human entities, another otherworldly being has made onto our imaginary payroll. See this frightening machano-monster that looks like a modern Hollywood special effect with a fifties retro spin? That's DoomBot. DoomBot is one of the newest members of the Syndicate staff, and his story failure as a destructive nightmare is quite the tear-jerker! Jason Cross reports on the whole darn thing in the Syndicate Press's newest addition, DoomBot Joins Syndicate Ranks!

Wait, War is Peace?

This last year for the Syndicate saw the addition of one spectacular new Guest Columnist, the Minister of Propaganda! Our beloved Minister not only watches over our Forums with a grisly omnipresence, but manages to make you feel as if your being closely monitored anywhere on the entire site! What a secure feeling it is, too. He debuted on the Syndicate a few months back with this terrific article outlining basic conformist compliance standards, and now that article has been mandated back into the spotlight. Enough talking about it though, go read Knowledge Crimes and How Not to Commit Them!

Drivel Days Rolls On

What a way to kick off Drivel Days: An article with Invader Zim and Spaceman Spiff. Well, it gets better today. For this, the second day of Drivel Days, we see the return of one of our writers who hasn't been getting along so well with the Syndicate Staff. I won't go into any details, just enjoy the new stuff!

Slimy and Green

You know what those two adjectives signify... Blorflax! Yes, famed advice Guest Columnist Blorflax, hideous womanizing alien from another galaxy, is back dispensing advice without a license. In his latest article, Blorflax pokes a little fun at the human race's difficulty with space travel and expounds on the Trix Rabbit's shady past with drug abuse. He only has a job here for a little while longer, so better read Blorflax's latest article while you can!

1 0wnZ j00!!!

Taking a peek back in time for the Syndicate Press, today we bring you an old classic from our games department! The debate regarding the correlation between violence and video games has raged for years, but providing a new insight on the old topic is Syndicate writer Jason Cross. Statistics don't lie in this shocking news piece, they only bend the truth! Read up on this debate in Violence Proven as #1 Cause of Video Games.

DRIVEL DAYS!

Here it is people! One week from today, our beloved Reality Syndicate turns three years old. To celebrate this, we're kicking off a week of brand new stuff. Each day we'll come out with a spankin' new article while bringing an old classic back into the spotlight. Without further ado, let's get rolling!

Sailing the Ocean Blue

Magellan, Columbus, and all those other crazy Italians... they discovered new lands. They sailed for months to find parts of the planet where humans have never been. Should you feel like doing that nowadays, good luck finding any unknown lands! Regardless, in today's newest Syndicate Press article, Chris Clark probes this unfortunate truth and reports on a few hard-core explorers that just won't give up. Check it out in Cowardly New World!

Just How Does a Giraffe Lay on a Couch?

Looking back in our archives today, we bring you an old classic from your friend and mine, Yuri Gruskenvald. A while back, when he was still deeply immersed in animal psychology and psychiatry, Yuri crossed paths with one very well to do giraffe named Terry. This may not seem all that bizarre, but consider the fact that, statistically, giraffes are smashed on the bottom of the economical food chain in the animal kingdom. The story only gets stranger from there, so check it out in Giraffe Able to Afford Staggering Psychiatric Bills!

We're just getting started, so don't go far. Drivel Days continues all week!

Drivel Days TOMORROW

So here we are, on the brink of another birthday. Right before we dive in tomorrow and start the celebration, let's take a look back in time. Here's a peek at everything that came out on Drivel Days of 2001 and 2002:

And that's just the past two years. This is year three. Prepare yourself.

Drivel Days in Three Days!

The clock is ticking people. It's an annoying omnirepetitive tick that stings like a thousand daggers in your soul, but a tick none the less! And with every tick, DRIVEL DAYS draws near! It's a mere three days now until the celebration, which kicks off on the 18th of February, rallying the site in a massive party to celebrate the REALITY SYNDICATE'S THIRD BIRTHDAY! Don't miss it, we will be taking attendance.

Drivel Days is Coming!

You know it comes every February. Don't look so surprised. What's coming, you ask? Why, DRIVEL DAYS of course! Drivel Days is a week long celebration starting the 18th of February. The site will be abuzz with new stuff every day and looks back at some old classics! All of it builds up to the 25th of February, which happens to be the day that THE REALITY SYNDICATE TURNS THREE YEARS OLD! This is just our little way of ringing in a new year of fun. Stick around, because a week from today, Drivel Days happens...

Forums REBORN!

Let's face it people, the Syndicate has been rather quiet lately. One good example is the poor forums, hacked and left for dead in November. Unfortunately, they had to be completely reinstalled and fixed up from scratch to get them working like they used to, so for months nobody was up to the monumental project. Well, no more of that, we say! The forums are back up and running at about 75%. The actual forums are working perfectly, many features installed (and more to come) and we're working on a way to retrieve all your old member accounts. In the meantime, hop on over to the forums, register, then join the fun!

It's a Sad Day at Work

In today's Syndicate Press, Syndicate writer Chris Clark takes a peek at some of the bizarre ideas behind bolstering employee morale in the workplace. Several companies are stuck with unhappy employees, and making tedious desk jobs buried in cubicle walls fun can be quite the daunting task. Learn all about some fascinating and strange morale augmenting strategies in Unhappily Employed!