Trivial Happenings From Around the Nation

Need to catch up on what's happening in your world this week? Check out the continuing coolest spot the Syndicate Press, the Reality Syndicate News In Brief! These stories managed to evade the major newspapers, leading us to believe they're either unworthy of publishing or exclusive journalism! Take a look at these headlines:

LAID BACK CLASSES ONLY A SHORT TERM SUCCESS AT UNIVERSITY NEW THEORY ON PYRAMID ORIGINS PANDERS TO ENVIRONMENTALISTS ACTORS BADLY IMPERSONATED

INSIDE JOKE COMEDY HOUR FAILS IN NETWORK LATE-NIGHT SLOT CHEMISTRY SAFETY VIDEO LAME

Chewing Is For Suckers

That ironic headline is something several people around the globe have been spouting in a rising trend. As it becomes more popular for folks to grind food into a thick, gloppy liquid, the Syndicate's own Mr. Fred is keeping close watch! In today's Guest Columns, read all about how this "blend trend" is reshaping society, how it affects you, and even pick up a delicious new recipe in Mastication Breakdown!

Happy New Year And So Forth!

In celebration of the New Year, or perhaps merely out of coincidence, the Syndicate presents a brand-new article coupled with a brand-new columnist! Introducing Roy Bitterman, resident Syndicate Movie Critic! His first effort at a movie review article wasn't exactly what we expected, but we'll give him a chance anyway. Take a look!