Three Feet is Apparently Tall Enough to Impart Wisdom

Blorflax, a very evil and very short overlord from the Karundlian Nebula first appeared on the Syndicate pages in Fragonomics. We liked him immediately and knew he was the one to fill our open position as a guest columnist.

Blorflax started right away with some misdirected problems that came to our site when we hacked into "Dear Abbey's" email accounts. We changed the headings and let Blorflax take his first shot at advice. See how he did!

Wombat Expert Joins Syndicate Ranks

That's right. Yurivich Gruskenvald, famed wombat expert, has now come to the Syndicate as our second Online Correspondent. You may know Yurivich from his ground breaking work dissecting the mind of the Syndicate's wombat mascot Dave in Why Wombats Don't Like Cheese and Dave's Follow-Up Exam.

Now you can talk to Yurivich ant time at Yurivich's Wombat-Chat Panel. Happy Chatting!

Zombie Popularity Sets Other Columnists Thinking

It was only yesterday that Mr. Fred, Professional Zombie arrived at the Syndicate and set to work. Mr. Fred can be found working now full time as the Syndicate's "On-Site Zombie Correspondent." Immediately, the easy interface with the worlds foremost aspiring zombie chef became an instant hit with our users.

After a numerous happy comments on Fred's arrival, the Syndicate Creators extended invitations to all of their guest columnists to come answer user questions in their spare time. So far, only Yurivich Gruskenvald, Wombat Expert (pictured at right), has replied. Yurivich hopes to join us within a few days.

Along the same lines, a common visitor to our site recently offered his services as an advice columnist. He prefers to remain anonymous until his contract with the Syndicate has been set in stone, but we'll just say he was first featured on this site as part of a change to the government through Fragonomics. Within a week, hopefully, he will join the Syndicate team.

Zombie Now Working Full Time

"No Rest for the Wicked" is an axiom that applies here more than ever. Today, after packing his bags and settling some of his gambling debts, Mr. Fred, Professional Zombie, is now working for the Syndicate. He has become our first "On-Site Correspondent." This basically means that anyone who visits the Syndicate can talk to Fred at virtually any time!

Visit Mr. Fred's Zombie-Chat Panel or read his first article for the Syndicate, "Midnight is Too Late" (published circa July).

Turkey Graces Syndicate Front Page - Pumpkin Vanishes Mysteriously

Let's all give a warm Reality Syndicate welcome to Ned, the naive Thanksgiving Turkey! We'd like to thank Ned for volunteering his... er, services to the Syndicate. His happy demeanor and general ignorance of the various traditions and processes involved with Thanksgiving make him our #1 Turkey Pal!

Venerable Geyser Tells All

Today the Syndicate's very own roving reporter, Charles Anderson's, newest report arrived from Washington. After many long days investigating the home and stories of a very old man by the name of Edmond Smith, the legend can now be told. Read all about Mr. Smith's tales of youthful heroism reflected by decrepit old age in Respected Senior Citizen Reveals Harrowing Tales of Youth.

Does the Fun Ever Start?

The jolly little random word box beneath the Newsreel has gotten yet another kick in the pants. Now, instead of featuring a plain old random word, you can see your random word used in a sentence! This may come in very handy if ever asked to spell Artreastaepio, Stiodlua, or Zaefrawus.

Mr. Fred, Professional Zombie, Announces Arrival

Our top story today is that Mr. Fred, Professional Zombie has announced that he will now work full time for the Reality Syndicate. Mr. Fred is known as one of the Syndicate's famed Guest Columnists after he recently wrote a column on the working conditions of the common zombie in "Midnight is Too Late!"

Now, Mr. Fred has stated he will work as a counselor for the Reality Syndicate users every day, while still keeping his night job as one of the undead. What does this mean for you, the users? Basically, once the paperwork is finished and Mr. Fred comes to work for us, you will be able to talk to Mr. Fred real time at any time of day to seek his professional advice! Stay tuned...

Polls Show People find the Number 264 Inoffensive

The number 264 may seem rather arbitrary on any other website, but not the Reality Syndicate! Not today, anyway. Ladies and gentlemen, today the Reality Syndicate turns 264! In days, that is. That may not seem like much, but we've come a long way thanks to you, our loyal readers.

So, to honor the occasion, here's a special look back at what the syndicate used to look like back in the archaic times of February, 2000. Marvel at how much better the current site is!

Before you take a look though, note that all of the links have been altered so they direct you to the current pages, because everything that existed then still exists today. For example, a button that leads to the Syndicate Press, one of the first features on this site, will lead to today's Syndicate Press, not the first ever Syndicate Press. Got it?

Good! Now you can check out the Stone Age of the Syndicate.

So There, Congress!

The newest addition to Fragonomics showed up today, detailing the law making process in Fragonomics IV - Let's Make Some Laws! You may have thought the process is slow as is, but how about a process that involves traveling to a Death Star 2.7 trillion miles away in a nebula crawling with technologically superior three-foot alien beings who'll destroy intruders with a specific hair color? Yup. I thought the new process sounded a million times easier, too.

Read all about it in Fragonomics IV - Let's Make Some Laws!

Did Somebody Say Random Fun?

I didn't hear anyone say random fun. What a dumb headline. Well, there is new item on the front page that involves randomness, and could qualify as "fun." That's right, it's the new Red Light Gallery Random Image Generator! Now all images from the Red Light Gallery have been copied and shrunk to a nifty preview size. Every time you load the page, you get to see a different image! Like what you see? Click on it and see the full sized, fully detailed version. It's random-tastic!

Not only that, but a neat little Random Word window is now right smack in the middle of the navigation column to the left of the home page. Do you see it? Go ahead, click "reload" a few times on your browser. I'll wait. Done? Yeah right! Each time you load this page a fantastically funny word appears just for you. Sometimes you may get lucky and get a real word.

News Brief Title Unrelated to Content

The Guest Columns page got a stylish make over today. Now, instead of a long list of articles we have conveniently organized them by author:

• Yurivich Gruskenvald - Wombat Expert
• Dr. Floyd H. Shkletzinheimer
• Mr. Fred - Professional Zombie
• Cecil Circadian
• Charles Anderson - Roving Reporter

In addition, some of these authors have given us previews of some of their articles yet to come in the next month or so. Check it out in the Guest Columns!

EPA Demands Increase In Screen Saver Usage

Today The Reality Syndicate's first line of screen savers appeared. Jason Cross's creations involve psuedo-3D graphics flying around and bumping into each other. There's even a modification on the original screen saver that involves pyrotechnic explosions and fiery trails. Download them now!

Police Brutality and Oversimplified Explanatory Diagrams on the Rise

In the newest installment of Fragonomics, unveiled today, our political experts have devised a new system of Law Enforcement. Upset with city policeman, county sheriffs, state troopers, and US Marshals? FBI giving you troubles at home, at the office, or on the boat? Perhaps the Fragonomics method of enforcing the fine laws set forth by our nation and its many sections thereof is the answer. Read all about it!

Men in White Coats Remove Dirty Paper From Big Hole in Ground - Suits Soiled

A recent, exciting, shocking, and extremely scientific discovery lately at the Syndicate has broken new ground in the field of ancient history (The field will be repaired shortly, and an official apology has been issued to the owners of the field)! Behold! The Ancient Proverbs of the Syndicate! These shocking discoveries are being shared in the latest implementation of the Guest Columns section. The insight and knowledge of the ages can now be brought straight to you through the magic of the Internet while you sit at home and chew on beef jerky. Bring on the wisdom!

Back to the Basics of Freedom

In the new addition to Fragonomics, a new Bill of Rights is conceived that protects the government from the ruthless people it governs. Finally, the government now has the freedom to conspire and waste money without the people prying into it's affairs!

Read all about it in Fragonomics Part II - The Bill of Rights.

Time for a Political Overhaul

After two hundred and twenty four years of democracy in this country, it's time we tried something new. Nobody goes to Disneyland and rides the Teacups for over two centuries and never has a thought to go on any other rides. Evolve! So we at the Syndicate created a fabulous new governing system known as Fragonomics!

Fragonomics is a system as complicated as our present one and has many different parts covering different aspects of running the country. Every few days, our political experts will crank out a new limb of this great new tree of administration. Check out the Introduction to Fragonomics, read up on the New Monetary System Proposal, and watch for more additions!

Archives Receive Snappy Makeover

The Archives were only just created a month ago but for the first time they are being altered for the better. Up until now the navigation pages in this section were text only and rather bare-bones. Now, with crazy new logos for both the General News and the Newsreel, skimming through past entries should be much more aesthetically pleasing. Be sure to have a look, and enjoy!

Dow Jones up 24,000, Pure Logic Responsible

Finally, after racking your brain over Pure Logic I, our first ever puzzle on the Syndicate, the answer can now be shared. Aw, who am I kidding? You probably took one look at the puzzle and either solved it in 5.3 seconds or walked away in disgust. Just look at the answer anyway, okay? C'mon, humor me.

Wombat Conquers Inkblot Tests, Psychiatrist and Ted Kennedy Celebrate

After rigorous testing, Dave is done. This lovable wombat was first analyzed in Why Wombats Don't Like Cheese, by Yurivich Gruskenvald. Recently it was announced that Yuri would be giving Dave a follow-up exam, and now his report has been published on the Syndicate! Read Dave's Follow-Up Exam and find out what's new in this rodent's mind.

Man Visits Red Light Gallery, Loses Pants

That's right, the Red Light Gallery has been revamped and some beautiful new artwork has graced its depths. Also, it's November. October was a great month for the site, but check out some of the things yet to come in November!

• Dave the Wombat's Follow-Up Exam
• The answer to Pure Logic I
• More Epic Poetry from the minds of the creators
• A proposal for a revolutionary new system of government
• Pure Logic II
• More Gallery images
• A new holiday cliché icon
• Charles Anderson's next investigative report