Halloween! - Juvenile Candy Intake Rises 7500%, Seniors Mumble About Generation

Happy Halloween! Ha-ha! It seems the holiday most widely associated with stomach discomfort and irritating children is finally upon us! We here at the Syndicate are taking all kinds of measures to make this your best Halloween EVER! For example, please note the orange and black text in today's Newsreel, and the image of a pumpkin to your left. Will the fun never stop?

Extra! Extra! Yet another section added to the Syndicate!

As if the syndicate wasn't chalked full of sections already, we felt another one would fit perfectly. Now a lovely little column sits just below those stylish navigating buttons on the home page. This column shows what's new in Extra! Usually, Extra! will contain all sorts of articles and such that just don't fit elsewhere (puzzles, mostly.) Check out Extra's first addition: Pure Logic I.

Dave the Wombat Recovering from Test-Induced Mental Trauma - A Nation Rejoices

Thankfully, Dave the Wombat, official mascot of the Reality Syndicate, is gradually recovering from mild psychological trauma caused by recent testing by resident Animal Psychoanalyst Yurivich Gruskenvald. Dr. Gruskenvald's first analysis of Dave still left many questions in the air, so recent testing was performed in order to determine the mental nature of the cute, fuzzy little burrowing marsupial native to Australia and Tasmania. Please stay tuned for details on the testing.

Pizzazz Added to Front Page: Viewers Shocked

Take a moment, if you would, to observe and possibly marvel at the lovely Flash animation you see before you. If you don't have the Flash plugin, you really should get it, because I'll tell you right now, you're really missing out. Like that animation above, for example. You wouldn't be able to see it. Anyway, it's been newly completed and marks the beginning of a whole line of graphic and content updates to the Syndicate, so stay tuned!

Love is in the Air

At least for Syndicate Co-Creator Chris Clark. Have a peek at the delightful sonnet he wrote to his girlfriend Casey on their two month anniversary, because their happiness is something everyone should celebrate!

Take a Stroll Through the Archives

The Archives section was created today, providing access to the histories of both the NewsReel and General News. Of course, not much is there yet, but as time goes on those archives will grow to be more than six and a half feet tall! If that's taller than you are, you shouldn't scoff at these archives because someday they'll be bigger than you.

A NewsReel Is Born

The Syndicate has now created a psuedo-column that sits right up top on the home page. The NewsReel will be home to ideas and thoughts form the syndicate creators that have little or no basis in logic or reality. Keep your eyes open, because an archive of all NewsReel drivel may soon appear.

Let's Get Enlightened

With all of the new age trends popping up every fifteen seconds nowadays, who can keep up? Well, the newest of all of these trends is this odd new religion exposed in Chris Clark's "Wouldn't be Masterpieces from Won't Be Geniuses." Could this be where you want to foolishly dump your life savings?

New Front Page at Last!

It's very true that the Reality Syndicate has been changing only slowly in the past month or so. Now, after a long quiet period, the site will be humming with activity and annoying showtunes once again! Check back often, because there's bound to be something new frequently.

What is a Human?

That's the question Jason Cross asks in the newest addition to the Syndicate Press, "The Human Genome- What Does It All Mean?" Yet another shifty scientist is interviewed for yet another shifty article. Check it out!

Pet Peevery

With loyal writer Crystal K.'s promotion to Pet Peeves Documentator, a new guest column has appeared. Hear what plenty of people in cyber space have to say about what ticks them off in "Crystal K. (Pet Peeves)."