Dear
Blorflax,
February 18, 2001 |
 |
 Greetings
once again, readers! I bid you all a happy Drivel Days. This week I'm
pleased to bring you two more letters from fans with troubling problems.
Let's take a look!
Dear Blorflax,
 I
was walking in my neighborhood in midtown Detroit yesterday. I was shocked
and appalled at all the filth I saw! I was fortunate enough to have
my camera with me. I took some pictures of all the trash and graffiti
(I have enclosed one of these pictures for you as a sample). When I
contacted my congressman nobody would listen to my concerns. Please
help. What can one person do to make the city more beautiful?
-Disgusted in
Detroit
Dear Disgusted,
Do you realize what's
going on here? You didn't photograph 'graffiti.' That is a work of art!
When I first landed on this planet to come work for the Reality
Syndicate, it was in Detroit that I touched down. Having successfully
made the journey, I needed to inscribe my family's name at the landing
site (as is the custom for Karundlians like myself).
 I
noticed some children inscribing things in an indecipherable language
on a wall across the street. I vaporized them and stole their aerosol
propelled pigmentation cylinder. A reporter that was happening by got
this picture of me posing in front of my work.
Now that I look at
it, it seems as if my family's name has faded a tad in six months since
I landed. Oh, and just so you know, translated into English that writing
says "24%"
Thanks for bringing
back some memories!
Dear Blorflax,
I think you're
the greatest! Can I have your phone number?
-Happy in Hanover
Dear Happy,
Well thank you! It
isn't advice that you're asking for here, but it is still a question.
I suppose I'll be fair. My phone at my apartment here isn't hooked up
yet, I'm afraid. I'm still fighting the phone company over some of their
rates. There's no way I'm paying more than fifteen cents per minute
on weekends!
Anyway, I still use
my phone from the Karundlian Nebula. You can just call and leave a voice
mail. I do listen to my voice mail every few days since I can hear it
from any pay phone. Here's my old home phone number:
 (917
- 324 -235 - 040) - 569 - 26 - 1852
Then, press pound
(#) and 209 - 612 - 9974
Then press pound
(#) again, then 226 - 90 -1046 - 2645
I forget what comes
next so just start pressing buttons until you here a phone ring. Somebody
in the Karundlian Nebula will pick up. Just cross you r fingers that
they speak English, as only 14 of the some 300 billion Karundlians do.
Hope to hear from
you soon!
That's all for this
week. Wow, the exhilaration that comes from answering advice mail! I love
love this job. Hey, make sure to send
me your questions and I'll help you with your problems! If
you're a little more impatient, you can also talk
to me live online, right now! Enjoy Drivel Days!
-Blorflax, evil
overlord of the Karundlian Nebula
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