Knowledge Crimes and How Not to Commit Them
By the Minister of Propaganda |
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 Greetings
Comrades. I am Minister of Propaganda for the Reality Syndicate. As new
Guest Columnist it is my job to keep visitors to the Syndicate informed
at all times. This guide will help visitors know what crimes are punishable
by death or mysterious disappearance. As a loyal visitor to the site you
are obligated to know the rules and obey them at all times. If
you have a question or a complaint about any rules, e-mail our complaint
department at admission_of_guilt@reality-syndicate.com.
Let's
begin. First, to understand how to completely bend you will to blindly
and unquestionably serve the Syndicate, you must understand how the Syndicate
cycle of power works. Please refer to the diagram to the left.
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- The masses
surrender all of their will to the Webmaster
- This group
effort for the benefit of the Webmaster results in a washing out
of individuality.
- All individuals
fade into a meaningless, obscure form of equality.
- The Webmaster
uses this absolute loyalty to be elevated to the likes of a godlike
figure in the eyes of the people.
- The Webmaster
uses his new found sense of awe to mightily crush other web sites
in a single ruthless blow.
- Together,
the glory of the Syndicate is achieved.
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Sociologists and Political
Scientists working for the Syndicate have poured countless hours into
research only to find that this is the most effective means of glorifying
the Syndicate. If you have any comments regarding this system or would
like to bow out now and join a weaker, less organized and elite web site,
e-mail our complaint department at admission_of_guilt@reality-syndicate.com.
Now let's discuss Knowledge
Crimes. First a little definition:
Knowl·edge
Crime (näl´ij krîm) n. Any act upon one
person or a group's part that necessitates immediate removal from peaceful
society by means of death, violent beatings, or psychological restructuring
The
Three Types of Knowledge Crime
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Spoken
Word
The people are
provided with mouths at birth: a short sight of evolution that Syndicate
scientists are rapidly trying to correct. Your mouth is a weapon
and any unkind words shot from it directed at the Syndicate or the
Webmaster will be considered treasonous. A shut mouth is a happy
mouth. A happy mouth is a mouth that has the privilege of staying
alive. Silence is golden.
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Printed
Word
If you are one
of the lucky few who works endless hours in Publications Sector,
you have limited monitored access to printing machines. Such machines
were invented with only one intended function: preserving the order
and glory of the Syndicate. Misuse of these machines will most likely
result in mysterious, unexplained disappearances by the perpetrators.
Remember, you can't spell "I, perpetrator" without "traitor."
If you are one of the few who has an unregistered printing apparatus,
please e-mail our printing machine registration office at admission_of_guilt@reality-syndicate.com.
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Thought
As a loyal member
of the Syndicate society it is important that your thoughts remain
on your work and the glory of the Syndicate that has given your
life such meaning. When your thoughts stray, your actions stray.
If you actions stray to one of the two prior knowledge crimes, swift
action will be taken against you. A brain is a privilege, not a
right. If you misuse the brain so graciously filled with all the
knowledge you;ll ever need by the Syndicate, the Syndicate will
remove that knowledge along with the cells that contain it. Before
you think, think about what you're about to think about.
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These ground rules
which have been set by the Webmaster are perfectly understandable and
well designed to ensure a prosperous, elite web site that will shine above
all others in blinding brilliance.
VIOLENCE IS
LOVE
INDEPENDENCE IS FAILURE
THE SYNDICATE IS TRUTH
-The Minister
of Propaganda
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