I had a dream recently where all of my friends went to Europe. Europe was not a continent though, it was a small coffee shop downtown. You still had to take a ten hour flight to get there, though. I didn't have enough money to stay in Europe for more than a few days so I could only visit my friends. Oh, and there were also lions.

Is mud dirt which has gotten wet... or water which has gotten dirty? We put this question to a panel of carefully selected Hollywood movie stars. Consensus? Nicholas Cage wants an Oscar really bad and Angelina Jolie thinks half the women in Hollywood are jerks. Last time we petition the "stars."

Bored with your summer job? Looking for something fun to pass the time? You need to try shoving random object into your mouth to see if they'll fit!!! It's easy. When bored, simply pick up any nearby object, such as a basketball, a socket wrench, or your computer's monitor. Attempt to fit the entire object inside your mouth. Does the fun ever stop?

When the watch beeped twice the toy soldiers poured out of the fireplace with the force of ten republicans. When the watch beeped thrice, the same toy soldiers tied down the green tent but left the blue one to be blown away since the evil emperor's baseball card collection was in there. That sure showed him.

Greatness comes in small doses. Greatness comes in spoonfuls from a blue jar. The Blue Jar of Greatness comes from the Greatness Aisle in the supermarket. The Greatness Aisle in the supermarket was added when the Greatness Farmers began to harvest Greatness in larger numbers. That's where Greatness comes from.

Futuristic movies and books and such have nutrients and vitamins in pill form to get the human race nourished with the minimum amount of actual food being produced. What authors and producers of such stories fail to see is Jelly Beans! These amazing pills already exist and can replicate just about any food on the planet.