Do you have special powers? Well good for you. Thanks for rubbing it in our faces that we're average. Yeesh.

Had fish won out over humans in the evolutionary race on this planet, history would be quite different. For instance, chairs may never have been invented and land wars in Asia would probably not been nearly so popular.

Well, it's Turkey Day. Not only that, but it's the anniversary of John Kennedy's assassination and the birthday of the little brother of one of the Syndicate writers. Guess which writer and you can win nothing of relevance!

Doing an impromptu play-by-play in a shrill, nasal voice as a burly construction worker makes use of the nearest port-o-john is a great way to earn yourself a black eye.

If appliances came to life in my house with a thirst for human blood, I think I'd fear the electric pencil sharpener most of all. I mean, come on... the guy is made to grind things to a point!

Two bolts was enough to keep the Frankenstein Monster's head from going anywhere? Yeah, whatever. The good doctor, if he was a real doctor, would have stuck that thing on with a lot more care.

If bugs had larger brains, they might understand the principle of transparency. In such a world, insect death by window would be greatly reduced.

It's almost winter, but it could have started snowing a long time ago. Do you want snow really bad? Thousands of dollars worth of mashed potatoes spread evenly across your driveway should create the illusion of a winter wonderland!

There are no stupid questions, only stupid answers. And stupid people answering good questions. But sometimes the person who asks the question might be stupid, so then the question could be considered stupid, but then maybe the person answering the question is intelligent. If that's the case, then there is a stupid question, but no stupid answer. Then, of course, there's the case where both the question and the answer are stupid, and both come from stupid people. This is known as a Presidential Debate.

If you told someone you had a surprise for them, they would expect something. So, if you then told them you had no surprise, they would be surprised. Apparently you had a surprise after all. Ah, the cycle of lunacy.

Today's Reality Syndicate Brought to you by the letter:

R

A part of your body falls asleep, and somebody (possibly even you) refers to it as being on pins and needles. Apparently this is quite a painful part of existence that can lead to thousands of tiny skin punctures.