Financial
Compensation for Damages or Whatever
By Frank Boron, Attorney At Law |
 |
 Hello,
I'm Frank Boron, Attorney At Law. You know, in modern society,
there are all sorts of dangerous things that we accept as every-day occurences.
For example, using your toaster in the morning - what if a fork somehow
found its way between your hand and the red-hot, electrically charged
slot? What if your brakes fail on your way to work? What if you trip over
your own shoelaces and fall down a flight of stairs?
 I'll
tell you what - financial compensation, that's what. Just memorize this
easy-to-learn diagram at left. Remember: PAIN EQUALS PROFIT. It's
just that simple.
Just give
me a call and I'll tell you all about how you can make a ridiculous amount
of money for almost nothing at all. Just listen to some of these uplifting
success stories:
| "I
broke my fingers by repeatedly slamming them in my car door. Frank
Boron got me a new car and $50,000." |
 |
| "When
I contracted a hangnail on my left index finger, I thought I had no
hope left. That's until I talked to Frank Boron. He got me
$65,000, which made me forget about the unbearable pain altogether."
|
| "I
was deeply disturbed when watching the 6-o'clock News on Channel 3
after seeing an image of a wet kitten, who clearly did not
want to be taking that bath. Frank Boron got me $75,000
and everyone at the TV station lost their jobs. Also, the kitten bought
a new Mercedes." |
Yes, you
too can be awarded exorbitant amounts of cash due to common human negligence,
even your own!
Just give
me a call at 555-RIP-M-OFF: And remember, this is America, Land
of Free Lawsuits!
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