Welcome, welcome, to the second glorious part of this fantastic inside review of Giants: Citizen Kabuto, brought to you by the Reality Syndicate! In this episode, I will be focusing on the arsenal possessed by the characters known as Mech-o-rins, the huge, menacing, rampaging "Giants" that cause havoc and harm in this wonderful game!

On with the review!

The RPG, as the Mechs refer to it, is another force to be reckoned with. Short for "Really Powerful Gun", the term RPG is a group of three letters that are joined to represent an acronym, which in turn implicitly suggests an image of the Really Powerful Gun.

As you may well guess, the RPG is a surprisingly non-powerful gun. When fired, rings of smoke (surely poison gas!) stream out from behind the bullet, which travels at an air-speed velocity of Really Fast. The bullet then smashes into its target, creating a dull thud noise and falling to the ground. However, this impact is capable of gently bumping or even knocking over targets up to 3 kilograms in weight. While it may not take down some of the Mechs' larger enemies, such as the Sea Rippers, the RPG is infact capable of creating a significant annoyance, thereby reducing the enemy's efficiency.

As an extra "bonus" feature, the very mention of the RPG can be used to strike fear into the hearts of those who have never actually seen it in action: hence the label, the "Really Powerful Gun". Untrained or uneducated enemies may hear the name of this weapon and think "I am unable to handle a gun of such magnitude. I will place my weapon on the ground and run, screaming and flailing my limbs, into the hills to escape!" Such is the way to honorably win a battle.

When the Mechs grow tired of simply killing their enemies the standard way (with huge, highly volatile explosives), they revert back to their favorite implement of destruction, the Machine Gun.

Nicknamed the "Timmy Gun" after its first victim, this fantastic piece of work is as much fun to watch as it is to shoot - as long as you're not on the receiving end! Over 18,000,000 bullets are expelled with incredible force from the barrel of this monster per second - that makes for a literally solid stream of hot metal death heading your way, and quick! Time to move!

Mechs will often be seen firing their Machine Gun into the air to celebrate a victory, conquest, birthday, etc., laughing maniacally while they spray lead into anything unfortunate enough to get in the way. Oh, the horror...

This deadly weapon is definitely one to avoid at all costs.

The Rocket Launcher is one of the most feared and misused weapons among the Mechs' arsenal. Designed originally for the purpose of clearing mineshafts of dust and other assorted debris, the Rocket Launcher sends a massive warhead streaming at supersonic speed toward its target, engulfing it finally in a veritable inferno of burning napalm and twisted debris.

A few types of Rocket Launchers were developed to clear certain types of mineshaft junk: The Homing Rocket Launcher gently whisked away dust that might be drifting around or floating through the mineshaft: the Nuclear Rocket Launcher was created to eliminate annoying static cling: and the Excessively Large Explosive Payload Rocket Launcher (ELEPRL) was built just because it's a lot of fun to see something blow the living hell out of something else.

All of these rockets are unfortunately pointed in the direction of poor Kabuto and his friends: it's up to you to stop them, any way possible! Hurry! Go now!

Snipetastic!

The Mech Sniper Rifle is really, really long and scary-looking, and rightfully so! Equipped with a big green viewer thingy for looking at things that are not green, the Sniper Rifle is (big surprise...) really, really dangerous. Infact, it would not be at all hard to put somebody's eye out with this gun - it is designed, as is blatantly obvious, to "snipe" (from the Latin root sniepus, meaning to blow the head off of) anyone or anything which is stupid enough to walk into its sights.

Thankfully, the sighting device attached to the top of the Sniper Rifle comes only in a certain shade of green, so it is possible to pass by unnoticed in a bright green suit or leprechaun outfit.

The Sniper Rifle is capable of firing a dangerously pointy projectile a distance of up to 500,000 kilometers, which I am told by experts is "a really, really long way". This means that a person standing on a hill can be shot by someone who is so far away, the curvature of the planet hides them from view. Don't you feel safe now?

One final tip for all you Mech-killers out there: when you see a Mech toting one of these rifles, DO NOT stand still and gaze emptily at him. I know this from experience. I don't want to talk about it.

Ladies and gentlemen, the moment you've all been waiting for. Presenting the most scary and ridiculously powerful Mech weapon, the Unnilinium Mortar!!! Crafted from the finest unnilinium, this fearsome weapon propels a big, spiky warhead several hundred meters, which explodes on impact and sends radiation and poison smoke into the atmosphere, damaging it for all eternity and choking off any nearby plant or animal life! Here is a screenshot of the environmental nightmare at work:

Sure, it may not be actually directly DANGEROUS to anyone or anything, but over time, that hole in the o-zone layer will take its toll. The victims of the attack will suffer from increased probability of sunburns or other skin problems, and global warming will raise local tides by up to 3 centimeters. Oh, the humanity!

Last, but by no means least, the Mech Gyromatic Spin-o-Plane. A form of pure entertainment for the sick and twisted Mechs, the Gyro, as is called in short, is really quite deadly. With a passenger capacity of one very evil Mech, the Gyro is equipped with a Machine Gun and Mortar Cannon identical to those used by grounded Mechs.

Often used to pick off stray Vamps or "evict" Smarties from their charming, vulnerable adobe houses, the Gyro is a fearsome vehicle of pure entertainment and wholesome fun.