How To Tell if a Person is Lying - 6 Easy Steps By Jason Cross

Step 1: Ask the person a question, such as "Hey, how about those Yankees?" or "Did ya see the Yankees game last night?". You may even try something more subtle, such as "Hey, did you steal my car?". Work at your own pace.

Step 2: If the person says "Yes, I stole your car," then you may have an insurance problem. But at least they aren't lying! . . . But what if your insurance agent is the one who lied, and maybe he told you that the car WAS stolen by the guy... but then, if so, he was lying, but that would mean that the agent actually wasn't, so why did you even ask this guy? He's probably insulted that you even thought of something so absurd. You should apologize. No, wait! You caught him hotwiring it! That usually denotes car theft. But maybe he was just fixing the stereo or something - Maybe he's just a car mechanic or something, and he works for the public! But if that's so, why doesn't he have a Brooklyn accent? Most car mechanics have Brooklyn accents. He was probably stealing the car. Which makes it okay that you asked him, because it turned out to be true. But then again, what if he was only joking when he said that he stole your car? He's apt do that sort of thing - he's that kind of guy, no kidding... infact, this one time, in high school, he took this...

I'm getting off track, aren't I? Sorry. Back to the steps...

Step 3: If the person says "No, I have by no means stolen your car and I am insulted by the mere fact that you could suspect such a thing! A plague! A plague on your house!", then he appears to be doing one of two things: Either he is consciously lying, or he is totally convinced that his answer is true. But he's still wrong far as you're concerned, because he couldn't have stolen your car. He just couldn't. You're not in denial.

Step 4: Provided he does not admit to doing whatever you confronted him about, there are ways to tell if he is lying to you: first of all, if he does not look you in the eye, that means that he has found something interesting on the wall behind you and you should definitely turn around and look at it. But look quickly, incase he tries to escape! Dirty liar.

Step 5: Look at his hands. If he is twiddling his thumbs, picking at his fingernails, scratching the table, holding the keys to your car, or fingering an automatic weapon, he is most likely nervous and therefore may be lying. Take caution in dealing with suspected liars, especially those in possession of weapons of mass destruction. Despite what you may think, they can be dangerous.

Step 6: Confront the liar. If you are absolutely sure that he is lying to you (And I mean ABSOLUTELY sure!), you should take action and confront him about his lie. My favorite technique is this: First, look around nervously, avoiding eye contact if at all possible. Second, groan and moan as if you are about to say something. Third, say "Okay, well, I'll see you tomorrow!", get up hastily (banging your knees on the table in the process), run to your bicycle (your car is gone!), ride home, and forget the whole thing ever happened.

The moral of the story is:

Ignorance is bliss, and it's easier to run than confront.

Teach these important values to your children!