A Day for Mother Mars By Chris Clark

This past Monday was Earth Day. Whoop-de-freaking-doo.

All annoyed mutterings of passive cynicism aside, the outpouring of love and respect to the third sphere in our solar system was grand. Environmentalists the world over held peaceful marches, rallies, and gatherings to strum their acoustic guitars in a round of Kumbayaa and give a thumb's up for the old blue marble.

Sadly, hardly any of them had any of the other eight planets in the solar system in mind. Earth day was finally made an official holiday by the US government in 1970, and that decision was accompanied by the cheers of thousands of hippies (hey, the sixties ended only four months prior). Thirty two years later, Earth remains the only planet with its own holiday, not to mention its own biosphere and its own lumber industry. Meanwhile neighbor planets of equal, if not more importance, are left alone in the cold vacuum of space.

One planet most deserving of a day of recognition is our closest neighbor not drenched in sulfuric acid rain (not winning many popularity points by melting people's skin, Venus), Mars. Known as the "red" planet due to the communist political agenda of the cyanobacteria deep within the Martian ice caps, Mars is home to beautiful vast expanses of barren red wasteland. These enormous fields (shown right) may look beautiful and picturesque, but they're not getting much recognition from the calendar year. It's an outright travesty.

Just like Earth Day before its ascension to National Holiday status, Mars day is celebrated by a handful of activists and planetary physicists every April. Dates have varied over the past few years, but without fail, ever since 1997, these lovers of the Roman god of War have gathered at a small base camp in the foothills of Olympus Mons with coolers full of beer and hearts full of love. The party tends to last for two to three days, though it lengthens with each year. Visitors to the celebration are encouraged to bring a supply of greenhouse gasses for Mars' oxygen deficient atmosphere, much like Earth day celebrators plant trees or cease pollution of a local river for a day.

Will Mars get its own day? Only time will tell. As of now a multitude of petitions are circulating the country gathering signatures in favor and against a Mars Day. Some politicians endorse the idea, while others believe Mars is best suited to only be inhabited by small, outrageously expensive robotic devices. Still other politicians claim Mars is a waste of precious empty space in the solar system and should be moved to make room for large clouds of noble gasses and carbon compounds.

No decision has been made yet, but hopefully a National Mars Day will pave the way for holidays to recognize the remainder of our wonderful celestial neighbors. Well, all except Venus. Stupid sulfuric acid rain.

-Chris Clark