Death
Merit Badge
By Chris Clark |
 |
 Some
scouts are more twisted and macabre than others and prefer to dabble in
the deadly arts. Here's a merit badge for them! Death Merit badge offers
an opportunity to learn a wide range of methods for murder, including
learning the transit and storage of souls post mortem. With so much to
learn and do about the afterlife, along with the possibility of spending
time with the Grim Reaper himself, who could resist this fine badge?
Requirements
for Death Merit Badge:
|
1. |
|
Name the stages
of death from organ failure to rigor mortis and describe how each
one is different and unique.
|
| 2. |
Obtain five of
the following types of tissue from cadavers/corpses and observe
their differences:
|
|
|
|
a. |
Cardiac
muscle tissue
|
| b. |
Liver
tissue
|
| c. |
Bone
marrow
|
| d. |
Vein/Artery
tissue
|
| e. |
Lung
tissue
|
| f. |
Calloused
skin from foot or hands
|
| g. |
The
white stuff in the eyeball
|
| h. |
Hair
(blond or brown, not red)
|
| i. |
Brain
tissue
|
|
| 3. |
Kill a person
(who has consented to being killed) and observe their death when
using at least two of the following methods:
|
|
|
|
a. |
Suffocation
|
| b. |
Gunshot
wounds
|
| c. |
Arsenic
poisoning
|
| d. |
Embarrassment
|
| e. |
Boredom
|
|
| |
4. |
|
Kill a person
without consent, (against their will) and observe their death
when using at least two of the following methods:
|
|
|
|
a. |
Suffocation
|
| b. |
Gunshot
wounds
|
| c. |
Arsenic
poisoning
|
| d. |
Embarrassment
|
| e. |
Boredom
|
|
| |
5. |
|
Using spells,
mediums, or a suicide pill (whatever means you may find necessary)
summon the Grim Reaper on two separate occasions. Ask him/her question
about the line of work and how you can aspire to join the field
of Dead Collecting and Afterlife Transportation.
|
| |
6. |
|
Attempt to follow
in the footstep of Death, being at the seen of murders, suicides,
and failed medical operations to "take the deceased to the
great beyond." Be persistent enough that the living around
you begin to fear your power.
|
| |
7. |
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Discuss three
possible careers in death with your counselor. Tell about what high
school courses might be useful in the fields of mortality and cessation
of bodily functions.
|
 Yet
again, this is a badge that seems to infringe on a few petty "laws"
in this society today. It seems "killing" is a "felony"
and punishable with "prison." Sheesh, this is supposed to be
the land of the free!
We at
the Syndicate feel that Boy Scouts should be free to earn whatever merit
badge they choose, regardless of moral and legal conflicts. If you decide
to pursue this fine merit badge, The Reality Syndicate is behind you 100%
with silent, implied support!
Contact
your council office for an official merit badge pamphlet (shown right)
complete with the requirements listed above and plenty of information
on the forms of death and work involved in mortality.
Happy
Scouting!
-Chris Clark
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