Man Suffers Injuries In Phone Box Attack - Lucky To Survive Say Experts By sea3dreamer

Theatre of horrors: Mr Milson has had to undergo extensive surgery as a result of the attack. Inset: His disfigured face before the surgery began.

The full horror of a brutal attack was revealed by the Avon and Somerset Police today. At 6:30pm on Sunday, Mr Trevor Milson, 21, of Twerton, Bath, was making a routine call to his mother from a local phone box. Having been connected for only a minute, he suddenly found himself the innocent victim of a terrifying and unprovoked attack by the box.

Mr Milson's mother had to helplessly listen to the events unfold as the phone box first twisted around her son sealing his escape and then proceeded to hit him repeatedly about the face and body with its own handset. Glass was scattered and metal strained in the attack, which has led not only to Mr Milson requiring extensive surgery, but also to a lengthy stay in intensive care for both himself and his mother.

Armed guard: Soldiers watch over 'the box', while experts keep a safe distance to debate the best disarmament technique.

The Police were quick to tape off the localised area and call in the Army who are currently standing guard over the box while it is being disarmed. But the National Union of Phone Boxes (NatUPhoB) are concerned. Spokesperson Mandy Bevan said of the attack, "We are concerned. Such unprovoked rage is very uncommon amongst phones, but it is feared that the roll-out replacement programme of such boxes with newer, more 'trendier' versions is putting their digits out of joint. The destruction of this box is unnecessary in our opinion. We are sure that this is an isolated case and through counselling and community care the situation could have been amicably resolved to everyone's advantage."

Victims of 'the box': Jason has been waiting 6 months for a complex prosthetic, while Sammy (inset) shows that three legs are more than adequate to get around.

However, the League of Three-legged Dog Walkers (LeaThrelDoW) were quick to respond. Chairman Neil Gilligan spoke of the issue, "This kind of attack is not isolated and these old boxes must be stopped at all costs! Such behaviour from an inanimate object is unreasonable and we are pleased to hear the decision for this box to be removed. People are contacting us all the time with tales of their dogs' injuries by such cantankerous and crotchety old phones. We are only sorry that countless dogs have had to lose perfectly good limbs in the process of this debate. As is usual in these cases, it seems that human sacrifice means more to the law than the continued losses of our canine compatriots."

Technobabble: One of the new-style boxes, due to replace the raging phone.

Rumours of an Internet-ready phone to replace the old phonebox have been dispelled by British Telecom at a press conference this morning. Instead, an 'ordinary' up-to-date replacement will be installed ten feet from the site of the attack. Local councillor Guy Peaterford said, "The area of the old box will be left 'boxless' as a mark of respect to Mr Milson and the dog-walking community who have suffered over the years from the agressive behaviour of this box."

Further rumours suggest that there will be an opportunity for community developers to tender ideas for the redevelopment of the two foot square area left by the old box, but Mr Peaterford refused to speculate.

Mr Milson was understandably unavailable for comment.

-sea3dreamer