Science Proves Triangles Tastier than Squares By Sea Dreamer

APRIL 26, 2002

It was a race against time this morning, as scientists hurried to find which tastes better: triangular sandwiches or square ones.

A team from Kingston University in Surrey, England took up the challenge to prove the 'upper-class' triangle to be tastier than the 'heathen' square. Time was tight, and tempers frayed as lunch approached. But at 11:48 AM (BST), it was confirmed that triangles come out tops.

The explanation is complex, but the joyous team from Kingston-upon-Thames illucidated, "It has something to do with the corners. They appear to cut more easily than any of the sides of a bread slice and as a result, the combination of aesthetics and neatness pays off, mixed in with a little bit of quantum physics for good measure."

When asked about the future of such experiments at the University, Professor Bea Kerr (shown right) explained that, "Additional experiments are planned with regard to the size of the triangle and its correlation to taste. It has long been thought that taste disappears altogether when the longest side reaches a critical length of 7.5 cm (3 in) or smaller, and that the atmosphere in which the sandwich is eaten has a bearing on the emotional state of the bread."

Funding is still being sought for these latter experiments, but is hoped to be available by Friday week following a new sandwich tax to be imposed by the University on snacking students.

-Sea Dreamer

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