Many questions arise from such experimentation, questions like "How did the scientists get to take a look at something so small?", and "How does my DNA fit all those letters into the little twisty thingy without breaking it? Some of those letters have sharp points, like that T!" But such questions pale in comparison to the following: "What are we?"

From a biological viewpoint, we are in fact humans, also known as Homo sapiens. But what is a human? Webster's Dictionary defines "human" as 1) A human being. Okay, that wasn't very helpful. I suppose the real question, then, is "What is a human being?"

Webster's Dictionary defines "human being" as 1) A member of the genus Homo and esp. of the species H. sapiens. 2) A person. Okay, that's a little better - so, then, the question is, what is a person?

Webster's Dictionary defines "person" as 1) A human being. 2) An individual of specified character. 3) The personality of a human being: self. 4) The living body of a human being. Okay, that was pretty useless too.. but that last one, that seems to have a lot to do with what we're looking into (the deep philosophical question, that is!), because it talks about the body and DNA is part of the body... I suppose...

Okay, so Webster's Dictionary defines "body" as 1) The entire material or physical structure of an organism, esp. of a human being or animal. Well, it mentioned "human being" again, so we know we're on the right track... And look at that! Humans and animals are listed right next to each other! This can only mean that humans are much like animals in many ways - we share characteristics such as... uh, eyes. Oh, and noses. I think just about everything has a nose. Except maybe snakes.

Right, moving on, let us think about the relationship between humans and animals - what do we share that is universal?... Okay, did you think about it yet? I did. I came up with this: We both live on the planet Earth. So, before we can answer the question of what humans are, we must understand what the Earth is.

Webster's Dictionary defines "Earth" as 1) The 3rd planet from the Sun, at a distance of approx. 149 million km (92.96 million miles) with an average radius of 6,374 km (3,959 mi). Okay, so we know that the Earth is very distant from the Sun - about 149 million km away, infact. But how far is that, really? To understand the question of who we are and what Earth is, we must first answer the question:

How many meters are in a kilometer? Why?

To answer this question, I consulted noted physics expert and self-proclaimed guru Leon Heinzmuller.

Jason: So, like, do you know how many kilometers are in a meter?
Prof.: Er... you mean, "how many meters in a kilometer"...?
Jason: Um, no, that's what I had on this paper here...
Prof.: Well, a kilometer is much bigger than a-
Jason: Oh, nevermind, I had it upside down. My bad.
Prof.: Alright. Well, according to the standards of measurement, there are exactly 1000 meters in one kilometer.
Jason: Amazing, Professor! And how did you arrive at that startling conclusion?
Prof.: Um, well, I didn't really derive it or anything. You see, it's a standard of measurement, which means-
Jason: Yes, of course, Professor, but what does it all MEAN?
Prof.: Excuse me?
Jason: You know, on a philosophical level.
Prof.: I'm sorry, I don't-
Jason: Fascinating! Thank you, Professor.

And so we arrive at this conclusion: There are exactly 1000 meters in a kilometer, no more, no less. But just what is a "standard"? To answer the question of why we are here, we must first discover the secret behind the "standard".

Webster's Dictionary defines "standard" as 1) An acknowledged basis for comparison or measurement: criterion. Aha!

And so, the question behind our very existence is solved. I hope that this has been an informative, enjoyable, and ground-shaking experience for you all. Look forward to more deep insights in the future!